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Natural Awakenings Philadelphia

How Mindfulness Enhances Intimacy

Jun 01, 2019 06:34PM ● By Pamela Matusz

The practice of being mindful teaches us to be in the moment, the here and now. Intimacy can take the role of convenience or even maintenance in long-held relationships. Between the schedules of our partners and even children, we fit intimacy into our lives; if we’re lucky. Just like anything else, it’s not the amount of time we dedicate to being intimate with our partners, it’s the quality of the intimacy. Practice mindful intimacy and see how it can begin to make partnerships more meaningful and more connected, despite living with a modern-day schedule.

First, identify our senses of hearing, smell, touch, taste and sight one by one and use them all to experience intimacy with our partner. Focus on how it sounds when they whisper into our ear or the relaxing rhythm of their heartbeat.

Pheromones are an important part of attraction in our species; studies have proven that women are aroused by the scent of a man’s sweat, yet turned off by the scent of their male relatives’ sweat. We are biologically designed to be attracted to our partner through our sense of smell. Whether it’s the scent on their skin, hair or even their clothes, consider what that scent actually smells like.

Describe whether the skin of our partner is rough, smooth or soft. Try just touching one another through a massage or holding hands during intimacy. Our eyes reflect our emotions, and nothing can be more profound than meeting the eyes of the person we are intimate with. If not done often, this is a simple change that will strengthen the connection. We often take for granted the person we assume we know everything about.

Mindfulness means that we are in the moment mentally, that all our senses are focused in a single act. Never fall into a mindless pattern of intimacy. If we take the time to be mindfully in the moment, describe what we hear or feel and actually discover the body of the other, we will most likely feel more fulfilled. Intimacy is one of the most beautiful things we can experience. But let’s not forget that we are still individuals offering ourselves in entirety to the other. Intimacy is an act that demands to be present and mindful, always.

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